Saturday, May 26, 2012
I approach this post a little differently tonight, I must admit I have been very depressed while here at Brooks. I know I had high expectations but I just thought that once Georgia's seizures stopped we would make leaps and bounds of progress and she was but I feel we have platued for the moment. Does not help that we do not get much therapy on the weekends. I thought Georgia would be so happy not to be seizing. I cannot really feel my child out, at moments she is so happy but then it fades just as quickly as it came. I do not understand. Everyone keeps reminding me that she just had major surgery and she has to adjust, adjust to her new body with the weakness, adjust to life without all the white noise in her head, adjust to not being home for the time. It hurts me to see her getting to agitated when her brother comes around. How is it going to be when we get home? Is she going to have a hard time getting used to home? What happens when we get home? Am I going to have to hover her and help her walk? I just wish I knew. Is it wrong of me to ask God that He completely restore Georgia when He has already done so much by healing her of the seizures? I wish I knew the "plan". There has to be more to this. I got a little reprieve today, I got to celebrate Conerly's first birthday with him since I was unable to see him on his actual birthday. We found a cute 50's diner, took him to o2b kids, which he loved and I found out he is scared of heights (surprising right?), then we took him to BABW to make a monkey. He had such a great day, we finished off our day with birthday cake and a nice bath. I do not know what I would do without his smiling face and cheerful spirit. God gave me him for a reason and I am so grateful. I do feel better and I can hope that when I feel down his week I can look to the future and see that this will not be forever. If God is not going to take me out then He is going to take me through.