"...Not my will, but Yours, be done." Luke 22:42
Conviction like never before. My will is that my daughter be healed here on Earth and forever free of seizures. However, that might not be the will of my Father. Abraham was called to sacrifice his son, his only son, Isaac. God was testing Abraham, Abraham had to put all his trust in God. Just before Abraham was to sacrifice his son an angel of the Lord came, "Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have withheld your son, your only son, from Me." Genesis 22:12
I know this is a delicate subject for some and you might say to yourself, this woman is out of her mind, but I must assure you that I mean no harm and before each and every posting I pray that God would show me what to write. For those of you who do not know me, I am calm, collected and rather reserved, but last night I was on the ground throwing the tantrum of my life! Screaming, hitting the floor, crying.
I have to accept not my will but my Father's. I have to accept that, that might mean taking my baby home to be with Jesus where there is no pain, no crying, no suffering, complete healing. I cannot convey the feelings I have but I assure you I am in so much pain right now, I do not want my baby to leave me, I want her to be with me until we go to Heaven together. But I do not want to be selfish, I want her to be healed more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. And if that means that she has to leave me to be in the arms of Jesus then I have accept that.
I can assure you, I did not come to this easily, like I said a tantrum. Can you imagine a three year old throwing a fit? Well, imagine a 25 year old and multiply that times 10. I have to surrender it all to Him. Leave it at the alter. I have to leave it to Him. He is in control. Not matter what happens, I will praise Him. He knows best.