Hard to believe just this morning we were in the hospital getting one of the last tests run and tonight we are relaxing from our last minute excursion to Seaworld. We had a great time, we thought we were going to have to leave because of the rain but just as we were going to give in, the rain subsided and the sun came out. Thank you Jesus! Georgia loved getting out of the hospital and really enjoyed the Shamu show. What a blessing that we were able to go, Sean got to get us in free and all we had to pay for is my mom, who has had a dream of visiting Seaworld.
The dust has settled as it would and Sean is really at peace with things, me on the other hand am not. I guess I am just a selfish person but I really do not want my child to have right sided weakness and I want her to have perpherial vision. I want her to have everything. While I know that this is a small sacrifice for Georgia to not have seizures, it weighs heavily on my heart. She does so much now as much as she can while suffering from debilitating seizures and she might have to completely relearn how to walk. She has had such a hard life, it is hard for me to have to ask her to give up more. It just does not seem like a fair trade, give up the seizures but you are completely giving up perpherial vision and you will be weak on my side. Why does Georgia have to have it so rough? Why? Seems like a good question I can ask God when I see Him.
I know this probably sounds crazy...I have been praying for three years for Georgia to be made well and yet the time is here where the seizures are going to be made better and I cannot help but feel sad. Maybe not sad but I feel weird, it has been a part of our life for so long I cannot imagine how we are going to be when Georgia is no longer seizing. I almost do not want to say that Georgia will be seizure free because I feel like I am going to jinx myself, or maybe it is too good to be true. Kind of all over the place with my thoughts so I apologize if I do not sound as clear as I would like to be.
Tomorrow, Georgia will have her MRI and then we will be able to come home. Saturday we are going to take the kids to the beach, it is Conerly's first trip, so it is pretty exciting. I cannot wait to see my lil man and hold him and laugh at him and just look at him and know that he is with me. Tomorrow marks the last day of this part of our journey but is the beginning of wait for the surgery. It is three weeks from today that Georgia will be wheeled back to the OR for the first of two possible brain surgeries. Praying for a miracle and for strength to get through this valley.